I’m really kind of bored at the moment. I don’t know why – I’m in a funk.

The only lively thing that happened since Labor Day is that I got a new pet – his name is Igor and he lives inside my deck umbrella. Here is a picture of Igor.

In case you haven’t figured it out – it’s a bat. A baby bat. (Click the image to enlarge it)

I can hear the cries of disgust which is really very sad. These poor little creatures have been maligned by idiots in Hollywood. In fact, bats are very cute and really useful especially to people like me who are dangerously allergic to mosquito bites. I get boils that look like the bubonic plague. Every summer I end up in an emergency room for treatment.

This summer I had NOT ONE mosquito bite. Couldn’t figure out why. Now I know – it’s darling little Igor whose favorite dish is mosquitos – au naturel.

And this is most strange. A few years ago I bought a Bat Condo and hung it up according to the instructions from the Bat Conservation Society (http://www.batcon.org/) – it houses 65 bats. Not one critter ever came even though I painted a bat on it and a welcome sign. Maybe they don’t read English?

Anyway, Igor seems to like my green umbrella so as long as he stays here, I’m happy.

A few years ago someone sent me an email asking me where she could “buy fireflies to eat the mosquitoes” at her rental house in Amagansett!  Fireflies? Forget it - get bats!

Every night I put out food for the neighbor’s cats, Baxter and Tigger, that’s when they’re not actually in my house hiding in a closet.But I noticed that even when my neighbor is away, with the cats, the food gets devoured overnight. I finally caught the culprit – well, at least on camera.

It’s Ricki Raccoon. (Click the image to enlarge) 

Isn’t he adorable? (Maybe it’s a she, can’t really tell the difference)

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As you know, this website has been around since the year of the flood – well, in internet time.

Therefore, I have finally decided to undertake the inevitable - upgrade this mess of hodge podge content into a more streamlined and functional website. I have been dreading this day for several years and would have really preferred to have root canal for a month than tackle a site with over 2,000 pages, pictures, scripts, tools, etc.

But it has to be done. So until it’s ready, some functions that use email have been disabled. I sincerely apologize for this incovenience but as you can guess, this is a very time consuming undertaking and as you can see – this is a public service – funded entirely by yours truly – so there is no army of programmers running around doing code. It’s just moi.  

But I also have a real business which you are welcome to check out. And what a surprise – it’s web design!

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Last Saturday my friend Ava, who lives in the middle of the village, right near the Nick & Toni restaurant and about 2 blocks from the police station was awakened by some noise in the middle of the night.

Turns out it was an idiot burglar who, despite the fact that the porch light was on, the car was in the driveway suggesting to anybody with a brain that people were home, decided nevertheless to try his luck.

When my friend, awakened by her dog’s growling, startled to see a stranger near her bed, screamed  “Who the f… are you?” Precious the pooch got the message that this was not an expected visitor and proceeded to attack the intruder thus chasing him out of the house.

 And here is a picture of our little hero: Precious Watkins!

Good dog!